MTFFL

A Basque General and his troops were trapped in a mountain pass and killed.

The moral of the story is

"Don't put all your Basques in one exit."

A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass in the mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside. The grass eventually became overgrown.

One day the mechanic was working on a car in his back yard and dropped his wrench, losing it in the tall grass. He couldn't find it for the life of him so decided to call it a day. That night Mace escaped from the house and ate all the grass in the back yard. The next morning the mechanic went outside and saw his wrench glinting in the sunlight. Realizing what had happened, he looked up at the heavens and proclaimed......

"A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound that saved a wrench for me!"

Ghandi walked barefoot, causing his feet to be calloused. His reduced diet caused two problems 1) He became very thin and frail 2) He had bad breath. Finally his spirituality was an important part of who he was. Therefore, he became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

hahaha.... i like stupid jokes!

A string walked into a bar and asked for a drink. "Sorry," said the bartender. "We don't serve strings here."

The string left and returned a while later, all twisted and bedraggled and again asked for a drink. "I told you we don't serve strings here and you're a string, aren't you?!", bellowed the bartender.

"Nope," said the string. "I'm a frayed knot."

Bumper-sticker seen at the house of a Nader/Green Party supporter:
"Gore and Bush make me want to Ralph".

There are no mimes on stamps because a mime is a terrible thing to paste.

Sheep Clone A said to Sheep Clone B: I am ewe.

Archery: the study of arrow dynamics.